Proteus
by Shadow Serenity 57
Summary: All I ever wanted to do was train Pokémon, to leave a legacy, a story to be told around the world. I prepared for years for the day I would finally begin my dream. The road was long and difficult, but with the help of my team and an unexpected guest by my side, I had come close, but of course nothing ever goes the way one plans. My story is no different, but I sure am. One-shot.


It was finally time. I walked up to the counter, ignoring the shouts of "Hey, no cuts!" from the humans behind me (I did not know humans could even learn Cut). There was a female human behind a sheet of glass sitting there. "I would like to know how to obtain a Pokémon trainer license please," I said to her, in human.

The woman looked back at me, blinking rapidly for a moment, then spoke: "Wait at the back of the line and I'll be happy to help when it's your turn."

"Line?"

The woman pointed behind me. At the same time, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I spun around, ready for a fight, but all I saw were the three other humans pointing at the ground behind them. That jogged my memory. Humans standing behind each other was called a line. Right.

This was bad, if I was forgetting simple human words like that… I was more nervous than I had realized.

* * *

_Growing up, I had heard the phrase "You can be whatever you want to be" more times than I care to count (and much to my dismay, it turned out that humans were fond of that phrase too). Of course, no one ever takes that seriously. There are always expectations of what should become of someone, regardless of what that someone actually wants. So, of course, when I said I wanted train Pokémon, I got more than just a few odd looks from my family and my peers. But that was my wish. I do not even know why myself. Maybe I just have a superiority complex. Who really knows? Regardless, that was my objective. Now all I needed was the proper materials to begin._

_During the early years of my life, I spent almost all of my free time watching humans, in preparation for the day when I would join them and begin my own journey. And I mean a lot of time. It was both fun and a little scary, being so close to them, seeing them and learning how different people were from each other. This was both a relief and a challenge; it would be much easier to blend in with them, but at the same time they were all still so similar that I had trouble telling them apart for a long time. Eventually I got better at recognizing the little differences between them all and could even tell what gender they were just by looking at one. Most of the time. _

_During my preparations to join the humans, I had decided that I preferred the female form to the males when choosing my own appearance. There were several reasons for this. For example, in my observations, female humans tended to be more kind and concerned for their fellow human and their Pokémon alike. Female Pokémon trainers also appeared to be a minority. The females also appeared to be more carefree, less serious than the male humans, which I figure would help me blend in easier. Perhaps it is a combination of all of these things. Whatever the reasons, I decided I would be female for the duration of my Pokémon training journey._

_It took a lot of further research to decide on an acceptable appearance for myself. Female was a base. But if you pay attention, humans all have very distinct features that set each one apart from another; for example, the color of their hair, their eyes, the very shape of their bodies, the exact location of their features. I had to get my appearance just right in order to blend in. And I had to perfect it. Again, it took a long time to get it right every attempt, but eventually, I would grow so used to being a human that I could do it without having to remind myself what I looked like; it just came naturally._

* * *

Waiting in a line was extremely boring. When my turn finally came, the woman at the counter handed me some papers and a pencil. "Take these to a table, fill them out, get back in line, and return them to me. Next!"

I stared at her for a moment until she turned her glare on me, after which I backed off in fear of becoming paralyzed. If humans could learn how to Cut, who knew what else they could do. I took a seat beside the three humans from earlier and exchanged a brief greeting with them before they returned to their papers. I frowned and looked down at my own. "I can't read," I said aloud. Two of the male humans began laughing. The third looked up at me, and then took my paper out of my hand. "Applying for a trainer license and you can't even read," he said. "Did you not finish school or what?"

"Um, no," I answered. Having never attended a human school, it was safe to say I had never finished it.

"Can't even read at your age… How old are you, anyway?"

* * *

_Deciding on the exact details of my features was another challenge, but one I found great joy in. Originally I had wanted to go with what I came to call the "blonde-haired, blue-eyed" approach; that was what my research told me was what most humans found appealing. However, while I wanted to look appealing, I also wanted to blend in, not stand out. I tried out red hair for a while, but during my blending in practices, that only seemed to make it okay for other humans to insult me. Also, ignoring the blows to my ego, that was still too much attention. Black did not appear to be very common enough for my plan to blend in. The only other option this left me with was brown (or, as the humans call it, brunette). I let my hair extend down approximately to my shoulder length. Then I changed my eyes to a hazel color, or at least as close as I could while still looking believable (or so I hoped). I panicked for a short time after I realized just how closely humans focus on other humans eyes (humans have such strange mating rituals), but to my relief no one ever commented on my eye color. I maintained a rather thin build, tall, with a shape that I learned was considered appealing. _

_I also learned in my studies that humans had a strange obsession with adorning their bodies with all sorts of layers of decoration; "clothing", they called it. I certainly do not understand the custom; however it was necessary to blend in, so I added some of this clothing to myself. I never was fond of this, but regardless I was able to develop some clothing I could tolerate; something called "jeans" that covered two body parts at once was a favorite of mine. I discovered that females usually preferred to show off their skin, particularly on the upper half of their bodies. This confused me greatly… why would all humans cover their skin, but at the same time want to show as much of it as possible? I decided eventually that there was no answer for this paradox, and settled on a black wrapping to cover myself with._

_Human speech was also tricky. Communicating with my friends and family had never been a problem regardless of what form we had taken at the time. Human language was much more complex than I had anticipated, however. I must admit that I still have not mastered the art, however most humans no longer question my, as they call it, "accent"._

* * *

Maybe the boy had a point. I never practiced reading. I never considered it important. Maybe there was more to being a Pokémon trainer than just battling, but my research never – oh, he asked me a question. Uh oh.

"Can you help me fill this out?" I asked instead.

"Uh… I guess," the boy answered. He looked down at my paper. "Name?"

I smiled. This was an easy questionnaire. "Proteus," I responded.

Another strange look. "Okay…" the boy said. He wrote my name on the paper. "Hometown?"

I had to think about this one. I was not sure how humans named their dens. I had a feeling that answering "the Giant Chasm" would arouse suspicion though. "Where are we now?" I asked.

This time, all three boys looked up at me with strange looks that I could not even begin to identify. "Lacunosa Town…" the helpful boy answered. I decided that I liked him.

"Just put that, then."

* * *

_With my appearance settled and speech practiced, I felt confident about joining the human population. I wanted to immediately go out and catch myself a Pokémon and call myself a trainer, but I knew that I was not ready for that yet. Observation had shown me that trainers are not trainers unless they have a little plastic card with their picture on it first, called a trainers license. I never learned how these plastic cards mattered, as most trainers never removed it from their jeans. But if I was going to be a human, I was going to have to follow their ways, regardless of whether they made sense to me or not, so I had to go and get myself one of those cards._

_Now, of course, I could have just whipped one up whenever I did need one, but that was just something else I would have to remember every little detail of, which was hard enough with just my appearance. Besides, I wanted to be a real, official trainer, which means I needed a real, official plastic card. This led me to my first actual problem of my journey – I had no idea just where these cards came from. _

_It was time for my human interaction skills to become useful. I approached several humans, none of whom were able to show me where to obtain a license. A few of them looked at me as though I were mad, which made me uneasy… perhaps I was not blending in as well as I had expected. Finally, one male was able to walk with me straight to the correct location, called a "building", in the human den – but not without more strange looks. As he took his leave, I asked what I was supposed to do. He told me to go to the counter and ask for the license. I was astonished at how simple it was. _

* * *

"You're not on the run from the cops or something, are you?" one of the other boys asked suddenly. "We're not going to get involved with some sort of escaped convict."

"No?" I said after a slight hesitation. I had mingled among humans several times in my practices to blend in, and today was only my first real day of interaction. Surely I couldn't have already done something incorrectly?

The third boy spoke then. "Look, if she wants to make a fake ID, let her. No one will know we helped her. Besides, all we did was write it down for her. All the information came from her. How would we know if she were lying?"

"Her name, for one thing."

"I am not lying," I said with a frown. This was starting to go downhill.

* * *

Eventually, the boy helped me finish the questionnaire. By the end of it my hopes of obtaining a real license were all but shattered; every question just seemed to make the boys more and more uncomfortable about helping me. I did not understand why. The helpful one was kind enough to help me to the end though, and he wished me good luck afterwards, so I presented my finished paper to the lady at the desk as she told me to.

"How old are you, anyway?" she asked as her eyes ran over my papers. I had to wonder why humans thought age was so relevant to everything. When I remained silent, the woman turned back to the first page. "Is this supposed to be a three or an eight?"

"Um… a three?" I guessed. I thought I recalled hearing that number before when the boy guessed at my age. I had told him he was correct and to write it down.

"I guess it's plausible, but you don't look thirty-three…"

"No! It's true!" I demanded. This was falling apart. I could not let my efforts collapse so soon. I had to convince this woman that the age on the paper was the age I was supposed to be.

"ID?" the woman asked, interrupting my thoughts.

"Huh?"

The woman turned and appeared to prepare to beat her head into the wall, but after a moment in which she took a lot of deep breaths, she turned back to me without harming herself or the wall. "You know what? I'll just set you up as if you were a brand new ten-year-old trainer. You're sure acting enough like one." Was that an insult? She began typing as I pondered it. "Come with me."

"Why?"

"Picture time."

As the humans say, bingo.

* * *

As it turns out, as long as you have one of those trainer licenses, you are allowed to train legally in any region with a League. As much as I wanted to explore my home region, I decided the best place for me to start was well away from my family, somewhere where there was no chance of them ever finding me and make some feeble attempt to stop me. I chose to move myself all the way to Kanto, after hearing it was a relatively friendly region for newer trainers.

Getting there by normal trainer means, however, proved much more complicated than I would have ever expected. I had wanted my journey to be as true to a normal trainer as possible, and so I had decided long ago to behave as a normal human as best I could throughout the entire thing. But this traveling thing… Why do humans make travel so complicated? What with all these "passports" and "the ship does not leave for three days" nonsense. I wanted to get there and begin my journey now! So I allowed myself one exception, and no more.

And that's how I ended up flying in the general direction of Kanto.

* * *

The ekans lunged at the defenseless spearow with a hiss. The bird was quicker than either I or the ekans would have expected, and shot into the sky. The ekans paid it no mind as the spearow sped far, far away, and instead turned towards the egg that the spearow left behind. I took this as my chance to pounce on it.

The problem with this was that I had no Pokémon to call my own. This left me one option: battle the ekans myself. I hated myself for it, having to break my rule twice in one week. I told myself I was going to have to be stricter about that. Besides, once I captured this ekans, I would no longer have any need to do any battling myself.

It was a rather short and anticlimactic battle, with the ekans and I doing nothing but wrapping our long bodies around each other, with an occasional bite to the other's neck. I admit I was beginning to get a little excited by it, though. Thankfully my desire to finally begin training a Pokémon was rooted firmly in my mind, and I was able to push my sex drive away long enough to escape the ekans' grasp and return to human form. My bag was right where I left it hidden underneath a tree. The ekans, momentarily stunned by my sudden change in appearance, hissed and lunged at me once again as I pulled out the shiny pokéball I purchased in the nearby Cerulean City. Surprised, I tossed the ball and thankfully smacked the snake in the face and it was sucked inside.

As the ekans struggled to break free, I contemplated what it must feel like to be inside a pokéball. I would have to ask if it were comfortable. Being the trainer, I would have to be sure to never let myself get caught in one, or I doubt I would ever get out. On the other hand, if it were safe and comfortable, it would be extremely convenient to be able to retreat inside on rainy nights instead of camping outside- No; I must not start thinking like that again. Humans do not have the luxury of avoiding discomfort whenever they choose. I will have to adapt.

A sharp pain in my leg aroused me from my subconscious thoughts. The ekans had broken out of the pokéball and was now chewing on my leg. I screeched as I kicked the snake in the face to get it to let me go. Then I tossed another new pokéball at it, cradling my leg. As far as I could tell, I had not been poisoned… in fact, I was not sure if this ekans even had venom yet. I was still able to stand and, upon hearing the ping from the now still pokéball, retrieve my first Pokémon, so I figure that was a good sign.

Well, it may not have been how I expected my first Pokémon capture to play out, but no matter. I now had a Pokémon of my very own and was able to begin officially training.

As it turns out, training does not just mean fighting gym leaders. Twenty minutes after that battle, Misty took down my ekans in two moves. And so, I begun what would eventually be three weeks of nothing but training, battling the wild Pokémon back on route four.

* * *

Towards the end of those three weeks, I had my first trainer battle. I encountered a female human emerging from the huge nearby cave that she called Mt. Moon – I had not had the nerve to venture inside the cave since arriving in Kanto; losing to Misty severely hurt my confidence, and thus is the reason I spent the entire time training solely on route 4. Anyway, this new girl was rather attractive for a human, I had to admit, with her long black hair and green eyes. It was she who challenged me to the battle, which I admit surprised me, because she looked as though she had been through hell and back.

By now, my ekans was much stronger than just about every Pokémon in the area. I was feeling rather confident about being able to defeat Misty, and had planned to do so soon. I had a feeling he was even almost ready for evolution, another concept that fascinated me. I wondered if it was similar to transformation. Anyway, I felt almost bad for the girl when she released a jigglypuff.

"Wrap attack!" I commanded proudly, and my snake obeyed. I have no words for just how exhilarating it was to command another Pokémon to battle for me. The pink Pokémon's doubleslap attack was a lot more powerful than I had expected, though. Ekans fought back bravely, but getting in close was only getting him hurt. I commanded him to poison sting instead. A ranged attack would put him out of the reach of the enemy.

Unfortunately, the jigglypuff then began to sing. The human girl did not appear to be affected. My ekans, though, was asleep within seconds. I could also feel myself drifting away. Thankfully, the song was focused at the ekans instead of the general area. I could do nothing but watch as the jigglypuff proceeded to slap my ekans into unconsciousness.

"Good battle," the girl said as I withdrew my ekans into the safety of his pokéball. She extended a hand. "I'm Sarah."

* * *

Sarah and I became very close friends after that. She noted that I seemed a little different, especially after telling her my name, but otherwise she was content letting me remain quiet while she chatted away. As it turned out, there was a gym in Pewter City; a human den that I had not known was supposed to be challenged before Misty. Sarah promised we could go back that way later on so I could get the badge there and catch up to her before continuing.

With some encouragement, my ekans and I managed to finally defeat Misty. And after Sarah had her round, we moved on. We traveled around Kanto, catching new Pokémon and taking on new gyms. Eventually, my ekans evolved, and both Sarah and I expanded our teams to what I learned was the maximum a trainer could carry with them. After a few months, we made what she called a "pact" to make it all the way to Kanto Indigo League, as they called it, together. We passed through Vermillion City and through what the humans called Diglett's Cave in order to get me the badge for Pewter City, and then Sarah took me through Mt. Moon on our return trip to Cerulean.

During the days we would travel and talk and share details of battles the other did not get to see for whatever reason, and during the nights we could huddle close in the blankets she carried with her on the forest floors, sometimes with, sometimes without our teams. It was the happiest I had ever been.

"And then it exploded!" Sarah said one night as we and our teams sat around a campfire before sleeping. "Right after Wigglytuff's metronome triggered a dig attack! You should have seen the look on his face when his golem blew up in it! I have a picture actually, look!"

Sarah pulled out her cell phone – I had yet to get one of those – and showed me the snapshot of the boy she had battled earlier in the day. "Yes, he looks very surprised," I said with a smile. I do not think she even heard me, however, as Arcanine, Jynx, and Krabby, as well as Sarah's Slowpoke, (we had decided not to nickname our teams, and so just began calling them by their species) had all but shoved me out of the way to see the picture and were laughing loudly. I wondered if they could even see the screen.

I glanced behind me instead. Hitmonlee and Dodrio were having a conversation of their own with Sarah's Wigglytuff and Gengar – or maybe it was an argument, I really could not tell – and Arbok was already curled around a tree, asleep, with Sarah's Omanyte. Seadra and Dewgong preferred to remain inside their pokéballs while not battling if there were no water source available.

"Krabby won his first battle in a similar manner," I said. Sarah put her phone down and urged me to continue, as she always did whenever I opened my mouth. Apparently she loved it when I talked and tried to get me to whenever the opportunity presented itself. I continued, happy to indulge her for a change. "We battled a cloyster. There was a lake nearby so we agreed to both use our water-types. He tried to command a take down, but Krabby found a crack in a rock and hid inside it. The cloyster rammed it and knocked itself out." As if on cue, Krabby raised his claws triumphantly and released a stream of bubbles.

"Yes, because nothing says 'I am strong' like bubbles," I said as I pat him on the head. He sliced my finger in response and then scuttled away to join Arbok. Sarah laughed and put her hand on my leg.

"That was really clever," she said, leaning towards me. I did not realize what was going on until all of the other Pokémon retreated as well, most of them practically dragging Jynx, I noticed. And that was when I realized… this was the beginning of how humans do romance. Right.

"It was actually not my idea, Krabby thought of that himself. I simply-" I was cut off as Sarah leaned in and pressed her lips to mine.

I had never experienced a kiss before. I did my best to lean in and press my own lips to hers, hoping that was all there was to it. I would not find out until later any further details, either. Sarah retreated after a few seconds and blushed. I smiled back at her, at least until Jynx toppled me over in her haste to start freezing Sarah solid. I had to wonder what that was all about as I returned Jynx to her pokéball for the night.

* * *

"You never laugh," Sarah said, spilling her drink as she pointed the bottle at me. "I don't think you ever even told me where you're from."

A week had gone by since our kiss and she did not seem to wish to discuss it further (I had yet to discuss it with Jynx, myself). She had been acting different though. She had a bit of a drinking problem, and lately she seemed to be drinking more and more. Whatever it was smelled awful, and seriously hindered her mental abilities, as though she had been hit by a Confuse Ray. She ensured me it was safe, though, once the effects passed, so I allowed her to continue, though I kept a closer watch on her during her periods of weakness.

She also talked less and tried harder than usual to get me to talk instead, usually about myself. I tried to repeat to her that my own details were unimportant but she dismissed that and insisted I tell her about myself. After all, she had told me about herself. It was important, she claimed, because it was part of me. If she had said so under the effects of the drink, I might not have believed her. But she had stated so more than once, while in perfect mental health.

"You would not know where I am from," I said instead. Sarah frowned and looked forwards in the direction we were walking. As she did so I took her hand in one of mine, and pulled out the trainer card from my pocket to check with the other – Lacunosa Town. That's right. It had been so long since I had needed to remember that information that I had indeed forgotten it.

"I still want to know," Sarah begged, then took another swig of her drink. "You know things about me that I've never told anyone before, not even my own team. You can't even give me your last name."

"Lacunosa Town," I replied, trying not to sound upset. I wanted to tell her about myself, really. I was growing tired of all the lying and secrecy… acting like a human was really taking a toll on me. I had not anticipated it being this exhausting… though to be fair, I also had not anticipated traveling with anyone else.

"Oh, in… wait don't tell me, I know this… Unova, right?"

"Yes."

"See, I knew that! I have a friend over there, from Undella Town."

I did not recognize the name. "What else do you want to know about me?" I asked. In hindsight, it was probably not the best time to offer answers to her questions. Nevertheless, her drunken words had stung… mostly because they were accurate.

Sarah stopped walking and turned to me, a look of surprise on her face. For her credit, she covered it up rather quickly with a look of joy and began question after question. "Everything! What was it like growing up in Unova? Why did you come all the way out here? What's your family like? Do you have siblings? Did you have a boyfriend?"

"Well…" I begin. These were all rather uncomfortable questions, and I was not sure how to explain the situation. "My family…was not very supportive of me. They did not believe I have what it takes to become a trainer. I am determined to prove them wrong. I left … Unova in order to train without their interference."

"Oh… I'm sorry to hear that," Sarah said after a moment, and then squeezed my hand tightly. "Well… we'll prove them wrong together, won't we?"

* * *

It is fairly common knowledge to anyone in the training community who has ever seen one of my species that we are extremely ticklish. It is also common knowledge that if we are made to laugh, it becomes impossible for us to maintain our transformation. I am no exception, and this is the reason I refuse to do so. And it made my relationship with Sarah extremely difficult. Most of us have to avoid physical contact while transformed in order to lessen the chance of blowing our cover. That, however, was not an option now between Sarah and me. I wanted to be close to her, and she wanted to be close to me. It was difficult, because I often would get that strange tickling sensation when she touched me, whether through the soft touch of her fingers or an accidental brush of her hair. My recoils constantly had her questioning my devotion. I had to be constantly reminding her how much I cared about her. I deeply regretted not being able to share in her laughter at her own jokes. Smiling and witty comments simply did not seem to be enough confirmation for her. Thankfully, the physical relationship was much stronger and therefore countered the entire thing, to an extent.

This, of course, was all in addition to training. Months passed and we continued traveling, eventually collecting eight of the Kanto Region's gym badges, allowing the both of us to qualify for the upcoming League. Our teams were in top form. Everyone was eager to participate even though it was still a few months away. My relationship with Sarah only added to the stress of maintaining my trainer persona. Human relationships were far more complicated than Pokémon relationships. I discovered also that Jynx also did not take kindly to our relationship, and for a brief moment I thought she was going to leave the team entirely. I still think she resents me a little for not choosing her, but she eventually accepted it for what it was and with help from the team, she refocused on preparing for the tournament.

It was cold, the night my worst nightmare came true. We set up camp not far from the entrance of Victory Road, planning to tackle it in the morning when everyone was rested. We stopped near a lake so the water-type Pokémon could stay out and share in the celebration. The energy had long drained out of everyone and we had settled down to sleep. Then it all happened in a matter of seconds.

I am sure it was an accident. Sarah rolled over in her blanket and watched me in the bright moonlight. I caught her motion out of the corner of my eye and rolled to face her. My hair fell over my face – I had long since learned to control it to appear natural enough that it was second nature by now, as simple as breathing. Sarah reached a hand over to brush it away. I giggled before I even realized why. As she brushed my hair away from my face, it glided over my neck. There was absolutely nothing I could do to stop it, and my reaction was involuntary, and I burst out laughing.

Even as I transformed, I watched the look on Sarah's face go from shock to panic to horror. She flailed wildly as she scrambled to sit upright and throw the blanket off her. I admit I was surprised to see her crawling towards me rather than jumping away. I wish I had known what was going through her mind. Perhaps she was worried about me, and did not realize what was happening.

By now, her panicked screams had woken our teams from their slumber. Wigglytuff and Gengar were trying to physically hold Sarah back. The rest of her team was still in the water, either unable or unwilling to come any closer (or, in the case of Slowpoke, unaware of what was going on). My own team simply watched, with only Arbok and Arcanine getting close enough to me for me to hear.

Everything froze when the transformation was complete. I could feel every eye in the area on me, including those of the wild spearow and fearow our commotion must have woken. I glanced up at Sarah, her mouth open in surprise, being restrained (needlessly, now) by Wigglytuff and Gengar. I looked away and began the transformation back to my human form. This transformation was much less dramatic, though with everyone watching I was not sure which was more uncomfortable.

"You…" Sarah stuttered, once I had finished and looked back up at her. "What did you do with…? Where is…?" She didn't seem to be able to complete her sentences.

"I am right here," I answered, guessing at her question. Did she really think someone replaced her friend with an imposter or something?

"You… Is that really…? You're a ditto!?"

"Yes," I replied.

"Why?"

I looked at her curiously, unsure of what she meant. "I was born this way."

"No, I mean… why? This whole time, you were… Why did you pretend to be a human?"

"I told you, I wanted to become a Pokémon trainer."

"But… but you… you are a Pokémon. How could you…? Why…?"

Under normal circumstances, I probably would have been mad at her for repeating herself and not making any sense, however I was far too panicked at this point. I still did not know how to answer her question, or really even what her question was. But I took a shot.

"I wanted to be a Pokémon trainer," I replied. "I had since I was little. I wanted to understand why humans felt the need to capture us and train with us from their perspective. Not from the perspective of the trained, but of the trainee. But this is why my family was so unsupportive. I am not the first Pokémon with this goal. I was inspired by several stories I had heard when I was younger. One of which is a hitmonchan in a faraway region, who I hear actually wishes for Pokémon to have equal rights. He is a legal trainer from what I am aware of, although I do not know if he has any other Pokémon besides himself. There were also the stories of ghosts possessing dead trainers in order to see their journey through to the end.

"I have always wanted to give it a try for myself. Make my own journey a story to be heard throughout the world, even if only as a rumor. I find the entire thing fascinating. So I spent a lot of time observing humans, learning your language, settling on an appearance that would blend in. It was difficult at first, but I guess I was doing well enough to conceal what I really was all this time."

Everyone was silent for a few moments before Sarah spoke in a whisper, which I was not sure was intended to be to herself or directed at me: "Wow… and I… I actually had feelings for you."

I looked at her curiously again. Surely, after everything I had just revealed, she was not focusing on the sexual reputation we ditto are (admittedly rightfully, in most cases) known for?

"I am still the same person."

"You're not even a person!" Sarah shouted. "You're a Pokémon! I didn't even know ditto could turn into things besides other Pokémon. I just… that's like being in love with my seadra! It's just wrong!"

The seadra in question grunted, whether in offense or agreement I did not know, nor did I care at that moment. I was not sure exactly what Sarah was getting at. "Sarah, my own feelings for you are still real. I _am_ still the same person you have known for the last several months. The only lie was my appearance. You have gotten to know the real me. I have just taken a different form, that is all. I am just a little… unique."

"It's not that simple," the other girl replied. "I don't even know who… _what_ you are!"

"I am a ditto," I told her, unsure of why she was asking questions she clearly knew the answers to. "My name is Proteus. As I have said, nothing I ever told you was a lie."

"I really loved you, you know," Sarah said softly, no longer looking at me but down at her knees.

"I do too," I replied. "My feelings for you have not changed simply because you know my secret."

"You deceived me!" she shouted back at me, voice rising again. "Why didn't you tell me from the beginning?"

"How could I?" I counter, my own voice rising as I finally start defending myself. "What would you have said if you had known from the beginning? Would you still have traveled with me? Would you still have become my best friend? Look at this from my perspective."

"I can't!" she bellowed. And before I knew what was happening, she was on her feet recalling her team and dashing into Victory Road.

I was not sure what to do. I wanted to jump up and run after her, but I had yet to deal with my own team and their reactions, and going into Victory Road without my own team was suicide. Sure, I could defend myself in a pinch, but the members of my team were the ones with the real training, not me. Still, I could not just let Sarah run around in the dark upset, could I? With a quick glance over at my team, most of who were simply standing idly by watching me with surprised expressions, I transformed into a magmar and sprinted into the cave entrance.

Much to my surprise, I heard a hiss behind me almost immediately. I turned to see Arbok slithering after me, spitting acid along the ground as he moved. I address him in my natural tongue. "Arbok, please wait outside. We will talk when I find Sarah."

Arbok spoke for the first time directly to my face since he was aware that I could understand him. "And let you both get lost in here? I think not," he replied in between spits. "Come, we must find the girl quickly, I want to sleep."

* * *

Arbok stayed by my side for over an hour, spitting his acid trail to mark our path back to the entrance. We encountered several powerful wild Pokémon who did not seem content enough to leave us alone. Even as a gyarados or a blastoise, my own water attacks were very rarely strong enough to fend off the graveler living here, which meant Arbok and I had to retreat often. Eventually, he convinced me that we were not going to find her wandering like this and that we should return to the team and try again tomorrow in the daytime, when everyone was rested, as originally planned. I did not want to give up, but I could see his point… not only were the two of us exhausted from not sleeping, but the constant battles and retreats were quickly wearing us both out. I relented and we followed the acid trail back to our campsite.

I expected everyone else to be either gone or asleep by the time we got back, but all five of them were wide awake, though no one was saying much. Everyone looked up at us as we approached, and I could tell there would not be much sleeping going on for a while. I transformed back into my human form upon reaching the blankets, and Arbok hissed up at me, "Perhaps you should talk to them one on one."

"Then I will start with you," I replied. "I am sorry that I-"

"Don't bother, I already knew," Arbok replied. I could feel my eyes widen as I absorbed this information.

"You did?"

"Well, I did not know that you were a ditto," Arbok corrected with a roll of his eyes. He was tired, I could tell that much. I would let him sleep as soon as his explanation was through. "But I knew from the day you captured me that you were something… different. Not human. Humans don't battle wild Pokémon themselves, nor change shape to do so. I don't know what you do when I'm not around, but I have never seen you change shape since, but I also have never forgotten that day."

He began to curl himself around my body, pinning my arms to my sides, and I began to panic. But he continued before I could speak. "You are still the being who helped make me into what I am today. You are still my trainer and you still have my respect and friendship. But if you will excuse me, I'll be going to sleep now. We have a cave to get through in the morning and a tournament to win after that, and I'll be damned if some overly sensitive emotional human is going to keep us from achieving this." And with that he nudged his head against mine before slithering off of me and back to his spot by the lake, coiled up, and closed his eyes.

I stood staring at him in shock for a full minute. So Arbok had known I was not human all along. I wondered how many other people or Pokémon knew my secret. I had not had the energy to even think about the League or the cave at the time. I no longer wished to even attempt such a feat, with the crushing emptiness I now felt. I turned back to the rest of my team and sighed. This was going to be a long night.

I decided the best way to handle the situation was to call them over one by one and show them my transformation. Arbok chose to remain with me; he still wished to participate in the League. I was not sure how to tell him I no longer wanted to. I would deal with that later. In the meantime, however, I would let my team decide whether or not they would wish to remain or be released.

Kingler, the youngest and newest member of the team, as well as Arcanine, ever loyal, both wished to remain without a second thought. Arbok was unexpected, but he was also my first partner, so there was some logic there. I had no words for this, however. My respect for them rose exponentially following that conversation. They too expressed desire to see our goal through to the end, however.

Jynx simply laughed and said that it explained why she felt so attracted to me, though she rightfully felt lied to. Dodrio was a little more complicated. Each head seemed to have his own opinion; however they all decided they wished to complete the journey before making a final choice. And so it seemed that the entire team wanted to take on this challenge. Perhaps it was simply how close we were to Victory Road, or perhaps it was that the entire journey had been leading up to the coming weeks. I do not know how they cared so little for Sarah and her team; she was all I could think about, and we had all gotten to know each other very well since the beginning of our travels.

Hitmonlee was the odd one out. He alone flat out told me he wished to be released. Being a fighter, my lie made him feel extremely dishonored, cheated, and used. He said he had lost all respect for me, and considered me dishonorable. However, even then, he too wished to challenge the League and finish our quest as a team before leaving; to do so would dishonor the rest of the team. So my choice was made for me.

In the morning, the seven of us began our month long trek through Victory Road.

* * *

The water field was going to be a problem. Half of my team was completely useless here; Arcanine and Dodrio were literally helpless, with their speed advantage robbed and neither of them being able to swim. Somehow I doubted Jynx would be able to move about very effectively either. This left me practically forced to use the other three members of my team. I only had two real options, if I were being honest with myself; I was not sure if Hitmonlee knew how to swim, but regardless, he was a close-range fighter, so if my opponent ended up utilizing the water, he would be lucky to land a single hit.

The last two months had been grueling. I had spent the last two weeks mostly keeping to myself, only letting my Pokémon out to train after getting several reminders that the competition was near. I allowed them to train on their own, having no desire nor will to give commands. Victory Road had lived up to the reputation I had overheard on countless occasions and had taken almost a full week longer to navigate through than I expected, and it took a lot of energy out of me. All along I had to deal with my grief of losing Sarah and wondering how she was faring, and if she were even still alive, let alone my own team and their opinions. While Arcanine (and Kingler, though I suspect he was still simply too young to form his own opinion despite his arguments to the contrary) valiantly defended me from my own partners, Jynx and Dodrio had definitely treated me differently, and Hitmonlee was openly hostile. I offered to spar with him, something I could have never done in my human form, but he actually seemed offended at the thought. 'As if you could imitate me,' he had said. And all the while, though Arbok was not publically disapproving of me, he was not making any effort to take my side, either.

Despite all of that, we had made it through the preliminary rounds and then the first three rounds of the tournament. If we won this battle, we would be in the top sixteen trainers moving on to the final stretch, and would be guaranteed at least a nod of approval for our skills. During the competition, I was reminded (with a lot of help from my team) of why I wished to become a trainer in the first place. My battling spirit had returned, perhaps not as strong as it once had been, but enough to help guide the team to this point. I had every intention of bringing them all the rest of the way.

That is, until I saw my opponent.

Though I could not express in words how relieved I was to see her alive and unharmed, Sarah actually turned away from the field after seeing me standing across from her. She signaled the referee over and began to converse with him. I could not hear them across the field. Halfway through a sentence, I saw Wigglytuff burst out of her pokéball and give Sarah a weak Doubleslap and pointed back towards the field (and I did make note of how she was pointing towards the field itself, and not towards me).

Suddenly, I heard Sarah's voice over the intercom in my trainer box: "I'm not going to go easy on you, so don't you let up now."

"Of course," I answered. I was not sure if she heard me, and she made no acknowledgement other than returning Wigglytuff and turning back to the field.

As the referee returned to his position, I took Sarah's request to heart and began to think of a strategy. I knew her team. She had four water-type Pokémon. Gengar would also probably have little difficulty abusing the battlefield. Wigglytuff was the only Pokémon she had who would be at a disadvantage. Unfortunately for me, this worked both ways. Sarah knew my team as well. And I could tell by the look on her face, though she was staring ahead determinedly, that she had come to the same conclusion as me: that I only had two Pokémon who could really battle effectively on this field.

* * *

Surprisingly, Sarah sent out her omastar first, before the referee even signaled to begin. I had to think fast, since I legally had to release a Pokémon at the same time. I was not sure how this applied if the opponent chose a Pokémon before I could even reach for a ball, but I had a feeling I would not have long to ponder it. So I thought. Arbok could do little against Omastar. Hitmonlee had the type advantage, but as expected, Omastar was a distance fighter. Kingler was the logical choice. But as I reached for his ball, I realized that Sarah had known this. At the last second, I tossed another ball to the center platform instead.

As I expected, the battle did not last long. Hitmonlee had apparently learned a new move during his solo training, but even his new Stone Edge was not able to damage Omastar very much. Unfortunately, this new weapon was just about the only thing Hitmonlee could use as any form of offence. Even worse, Omastar was much faster than I had anticipated. I had not counted on Shell Smash. A couple Hydro Pumps later and Hitmonlee was beaten.

Kingler was able to come in and score a Crabhammer almost immediately that kept us in the battle; otherwise I suspect the Omastar would have taken us down singlehandedly. I felt bad for it and I could see the concern as Sarah recalled her fossil, whispering to the pokéball afterwards. I feared that Kingler accidentally hit him too hard in his desperation to salvage the battle. I hoped the cracks in his shell were not permanent.

Sarah sent out her Gengar next. A good choice, as it could avoid being crushed by my kingler and his massive claw. He was also much faster, and being in the water did not help Kingler avoid his attacks. He put up a much better ranged fight than I would have guessed him capable of, but Gengar had access to Thunderbolt which, once used, proved to be the end of the resistance.

Out of my entire team, Arbok was the only one left who could use the field, and really the only one who could really battle a gengar anyway. Arcanine may have been able to take it down, given enough running room, but that was not an option. Dodrio and Jynx were fast, but not as fast as Gengar, and they were also weak to one move or another, so they would not last long. So Arbok came out. I was not honestly sure what he could even do to damage a gengar, but he was my last option.

Curiously, Sarah recalled Gengar and sent out her wigglytuff in his place. This puzzled me greatly. Wigglytuff could not move well on this field, and was actually weak against poison. I ordered a Sludge Bomb, remembering my promise to not go easy on her, but Wigglytuff jumped and literally floated out of the way, landing on another floating platform and then blasted Arbok into the pool with the sound waves of a Hyper Voice. She followed up with a Sing attack that I had to protect myself from. Arbok was not so lucky, falling asleep before he reached his platform. He began to sink.

I considered recalling Arbok and surrendering. There was not much I could do with Arbok asleep, and even if we managed to defeat Wigglytuff, there was still not much we could do against Gengar, especially with Arbok worn out from this battle. While I was distracted, Sarah continued to battle flawlessly, commanding a Blizzard that Wigglytuff used to freeze the entire surface of the pool, with Arbok still underneath, fast asleep at the bottom.

Sarah and Wigglytuff both turned to the referee, as if expecting him to declare them victorious. In turn, he looked in my direction, waiting for me to issue a command. I was not even sure Arbok could hear me now, much less wake up, break through the sheet of solid ice, and fight back. At this point, I was more concerned whether or not he was still breathing. I stood there, my mind buzzing, thinking madly about several disconnected thoughts… of Arbok, of Sarah, of the time I captured an enthusiastic growlithe, of the time Sabrina's Alakazam completely obliterated Jynx and Doduo, of the time Sarah's Slowpoke got angry for the first time and threw her Dewgong clear over a building, of the smell of Sarah's perfume. My mind was racing. I could not sort out the past from the present. Why was I thinking of all of these completely random events, now of all times? I needed to focus on how to get Arbok out of the water.

And then it was over. With me unresponsive, the referee waved his flag and declared Arbok unable to continue battling. Half a second later, the automatic recall function of Arbok's pokéball activated and sucked him out of the ice and into what I hoped was warmth and protection. Had Sarah really just tried to kill my Pokémon?

No, I realized, she had not. She was simply a skilled battler. She knew the pokéball would automatically return Arbok if his life signs were dangerously low. I had wondered how this technology worked for a long time, but at the moment I did not care, I was simply glad it existed. I watched as Wigglytuff cheered, waved to the crowd. I watched as Sarah congratulated her and recalled her. I watched as Sarah turned and walked through the door without as much as a backwards glance in my direction.

* * *

Next came the difficult part. I released my team. Eight pairs of eyes focused on me, waiting for me to speak. I gathered myself, but I could not bring myself to say what was on my mind.

Arcanine broke the silence. "So what happened? Did we win?"

Arbok looked down in shame, his eyes closed. That was all the answer they needed. "Sarah defeated us," I told them anyway.

"So that's it?" Kingler asked. "It's all over? We're out?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry," Kingler continued. "If only I'd trained my distance attacks more, I could–"

"No, my friend," I interrupted. "The gengar would have defeated you either way. I would not have asked you to continue taking those electrical attacks had you survived the first, nor would I have allowed you to try. No, I am sorry. I am sorry for all of you. I have led you to defeat. I have failed you."

"No you didn't!" Arcanine barked. "You were brave! You guided us all the way here! We would never have had this experience if not for you!"

"The fire breather is right," came a voice, one I never would have expected to be defending me. I turned to look Hitmonlee in the eyes as he spoke. "We may have had other trainers had you not come along, and perhaps we still would have competed in this event. Still, you did play your part in the training and guidance of this team. Perhaps you are not… completely dishonorable."

The rest of my team voiced their agreement. All I could do was stare. "Thank you, Hitmonlee. I do not know what to say."

"How about goodbye?" he responded. "I still wish to be released at the next possible opportunity."

I frowned at him. I had hoped that maybe, just maybe, over the last couple months in Victory Road and the Indigo League battles, that Hitmonlee had reconsidered leaving the team. "Very well," I told him. "We will discuss the time and place later, when the tournament is over."

"Understood," he said, and then recalled himself into his pokéball.

"So, lovely, what happens next?" Jynx asked.

"I do not know," I said. I was not sure I wanted to wait around until the tournament was finished and be a part of the closing ceremony. But on the other hand, I did not know where to go or what to do next. "I think I may perhaps go back home. I think I have had my share of a training adventure."

"What will happen to us?" one of Dodrio's heads asked. "Will we be allowed to come?" asked another.

"I do not know," I reply. "My family will not be so accepting of me alone, I cannot say how they will treat the rest of you."

A sudden knock on the door halted further conversation. I informed the person that the door was unlocked. The door opened to reveal Sarah. Her expression was unreadable. Jynx hissed at her, but I held her back.

"Sarah… what are you doing here?"

"Well…" she said, hesitating. "I was going to come down here and yell at you for not even trying to apologize–"

"I did say I was sorry!" I interrupted angrily.

Sarah closed her eyes and held her hands up in defeat. "I know, and that's when I realized why I was really coming here. I'm moving on to the top sixteen tomorrow, and have my first battle in the big stadium. And I was kind of hoping… that you would stay and watch. You know, since you're not in it anymore… and it's pretty much because of me…well, maybe I could win it for us both."

"That is very kind of you," I said, surprised. "Although you are right, it was you who eliminated me from the tournament."

"I don't like owing debts," Sarah said. I do not know what she meant, but she continued. "I know how much being in this competition meant to you. And I feel a little guilty about being the one to take that away from you. I think this is the best way to make it right."

"Sarah, the best way to make this situation right is to remember the good times we have had together. I am still the same person you knew–"

"No. I can't. Not yet, at least. Maybe in the future, I don't know. But I can't right now."

"I will stay and watch," I told her.

"Thanks…" she said awkwardly with a small smile. "It starts tomorrow at two," she added as she turned and left the room.

* * *

I learned a great deal during my travels. Perhaps the ending was a bit rocky, but the journey itself made the journey worthwhile. Sarah did not end up winning the competition, but she did reach the top four. I stood in the center of the stadium with the rest of the competitors who remained until the closing ceremony and watched as the top four trainers stood atop a hastily erected stage and were awarded their prizes and trophies.

Then as the sky darkened and the ceremony came to a close, the rest of us who participated were called up to the little stage for our own acknowledgements of our accomplishments. Slowly I waited for my turn. I did regret having to outshine everyone who would come after me, but the whole point of my journey was to make my story known, was it not? After all, who could tell my story if no one had heard it?

And so, it was with no regrets that my team and I took the stage with all eyes on me during that closing ceremony, and revealed my biggest secret to the entire Kanto region. My story had come to a close, and it was time to begin to tell it.

* * *

**A/N: Well, look who's risen from the ashes. Not really, but you get the idea. Anyway, so. I've had this idea in mind for a long, long time now, and I'm very happy to finally have this uploaded. I admit it went in a slightly different direction than my original idea, but I'm nevertheless pleased with the end result.**

**Huge thanks to my beta, DarkAngelTorchic, once again, for putting up with me throwing two stories at once at her for a good month or so now. :)**

**As I often do with my writing, there were a few little references in this chapter to other stories that you may or may not have heard of (beware of the spoilers here, though both are old enough to where I don't think it will be much of a spoiler). The first is the nod to Fury the hitmonchan, from Dragonfree's _The Quest for the Legends, _a story with a very unique take on a classic concept. The second is the reference to the rather infamous story _No Antidote_, by FalconPain here on ffnet. Both of these stories were the inspiration for this idea, so it's only fair to give them credit.**

**That's really all I've got to say about this one. Just a little something different than my usual writing.**


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